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Transcription:Speeder Accident
(the camera shows Gary and a scout trooper in an Endor forest. Gary is postioning himself on a speeder bike as the scout plays with his pistol) *'Gary:' Are you sure this is okay? *'Scout:' You're in country, dude! Live a little! Now, she's pretty senstive, so go easy on the throttle, okay? *'Gary:' Alright! (the speeder takes off extremely fast with Gary on it) *'Gary:' WWWHHHHAAAaaaaa! (the scout looks calmly at Gary speeding away) *'Scout:' Oh, crazy kid. Gary: THIS IS SO AWESOME! IT'S LIKE A DRREEAM! IT'S LIKE A DREEAM! WOOH! HA AH! YEEEAH! (he sees an ewok in front of him) *'Gary:' BEAR! (Gary accidently slams into the ewok and stops. The ewok is yelling and convusling in pain) *'Gary:' Uh, god. Oh man. I hit that little thing... (Gary looks away from the ewok in disgust and starts to tear up) *'Gary:' Oh my god. Oh geez, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! This is my first ride on...oh. God! (terrified) OH, GOD! Okay, pal, you know what? I'm gonna take care of this. (He pulls out a loaded rifle) *'Gary:' I'm gonna take care of this! (the ewok stops screaming and looks relieved) *'Ewok:' Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah! *'Gary:' (tearing up) I'm just gonna put you out of your furry misery, okay? (he looks away and fires, but accidentally shoots the ewok's leg off, it's eyes bulge out as it shrieks and convulses again in agony) *'Gary:' OH GOD! (he drops the rifle and falls down in shock) OH GOD! OH NO! (he gets back up) I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'll fix it! No more pain, I promise! No more pain! (he picks up a large stone) *'Gary:' You're going to a better place now! (he lifts it over the ewok, but his radio turns on) *'Scout ''(over radio) :' Gary, where'd ya go, man? ''(the call startles Gary, making him drop the rock on the ewok's stomach. The ewok lets out a scream before going silent. Gary leans down to observe the seemingly dead ewok.) *'Gary:' OOoooooohhh! Ewww! *'Scout ''(over radio) :' Gary? *'Gary:' All good here! Be back soon! It's like a dream! Over! ''(Gary hangs up and goes over to the ewok's body) *'Gary:' No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No! (he picks up the rock from the ewok's stomach. The ewok instantly wakes up and starts screaming again) *'Gary:' (is starting to get angry) You gotta shut up, man! I know it hurts, I know! Just.....just keep it to yourself! (he picks up a large bo staff from the ground) *'Gary:' Sorry! (he starts to brutally beat the ewok to death with it. Each blow causing the ewok to yell in guttural pain. After nine fatal blows, the ewok finally dies and Gary is covered in blood, starting to cry) *'Gary:' (weakly) I'm so sorry....you were so cute! (he drops the staff and back away, "cleaning up" his tears) *'Gary:' (breathing heavily) Okay! Okay! Pull it together! You're okay! It's over, G! (he looks up to see a large tribe of armed ewoks has been watching him the entire time) *'Gary:' (awkwardly laughs) What's up, yall? Ooooh, schnizzle! Me and chief-drinks-alot over here..... (he picks up the ewok's mutilated corpse and pretends it's alive) we were just puttin' back a few, and- (he pretends to drink a bottle of alcohol) Glug, glug, glug, glug glug! Right? (he turns to the dead ewok) RIGHT?! Right?(he high fives the body and hugs it, accidentally squeezing it's brain out onto a log) ''Riiiiggght. (he pushes the brain out of sight and runs away.)'' Category:Transcriptions